Shaka Chan -- 1st public episode

So my friend S2 and I decided to live out one of my dreams while riding the Metro. We became foreigners. While riding to Union Station we conversed with emphasis in our own respected language that caused others to turn around numerous times looking quite disturbed/concerned (perhaps they spoke our language). As we ventured into the land of Union Station we decided to try out our English by speaking broken English to each other. S2 really wanted to fudge so once we arrived in a chocolate shop she asked in broken English "You have fudge?" The woman behind the counter who was at first had a welcome expression on her face immediately changed her attitude upon discovering we were "foreigners" and told us very slowly and loudly "sorry we don't have fudge here....try over there" pointing to a Godiva store. We left her for the moment to speak to some random boy scouts in our language while also performing what we thought was a foreign laugh...15 minutes later we arrive back at our friend aka the chocolate lady and I announce "they no have fudge. Where is the fudge?" She looks a little concerned and remarks "we don't have fudge". S2 is a little concerned and consults with me in our language as I tell s2 they have no fudge she gets quite angry and spews unspeakables in our language and we leave as the chocolate lady has a very frightened and bewildered look on her face. Conclusion of the day...despite the variety of food Union Station offers, fudge is not one of them.

Saving Families One Incident at a Time

So I decided that I would like to move the "Awkward Movement" to a larger level than its current regional level. I will try to make more awkward moments, especially in public places with public & unknown people in an effort to save America's families. I believe that creating awkward moments in public will not only yield personal satisfaction, but will facilitate more open communication among family members instead on the traditional, surface-level conversations. Through these created awkward moments families will be able to laugh together and thus - hark - live happily together. Won't you join me in this endeavor to help save the family members in America, one moment at a time? Please unite forces with me to ensure this moment benefits not only the families in my area, but yours too...thank you.

The Conversationalist, from the series of awkward encounters in the working world part 2

So I've already been assigned a project with a partner, a supervisor, and a looming deadline. I think the supervisor might be a little concerned about it, because he keeps calling my partner to see how we are doing. (note: my supervisor has been out of town for a few days, and the project is due tomorrow) Today when he called, he asked my partner to put me on the phone so he could check on my progress. The conversation began as follows:
Mr. Supervisor: How's it going?
Marla: Oh, I'm pretty good, thanks! How are you?
....and then there was a pause....
Retrospectively, I don't think my supervisor was calling to chat.

Underqualified, from the series of awkward encounters in the working world

So I started my new job on Monday. Now, I had realized beforehand that this new environment would encourage many many awkward moments, but I didn't expect them to begin so soon. I got to the office at 9:00. I apparently wasn't supposed to get there until 9:30, so that was special. (good thing they didn't see me pacing around the office building for the 15 minutes prior to my "arrival") We kicked it off at 9:30 with a company meeting, in which we introduced ourselves because there were so many new faces. (ie, me) Introductions where similar to the following:
Person 1: My name is Betty Sue and I got my PhD from Harvard in Physics. I've been working at Global for 3 years, and I am currently working on 6 projects involving companies all over the world.
Person 2: My name is Harold Augustus. I have a PhD from MIT in molecular biology. In my thesis work I created a robotically controlled hand using magnetic field properties. I have been working here at Global since the beginning of time, and I wrote the software you all use.
Person 3: My name is Super Smart Dude, and I used to be a practicing physician before getting my PhD and then coming to Global, where I have been for 5 years. I am travelling around the world next week to present 4 projects simultaneously while securing new clients and fighting crime.
Marla: Hi. My name is Marla Stump. I just got my Bachelors of Science degree from the University of Pennsylvania in bioengineering. This is my first day.

...although I chose to spell out my educational accomplishments in as many words as possible, it did not mend the silence that followed. My boss looked like he was going to say something a few times, then sort of waited to see if I was going to say anything else - at least try to make a smooth transition or a joke. I opted for silence. Ah, first impressions.